Stained
by mockingjay-lawliet-paramore
Summary: Everyone who has read Death Note knows what happens in the end. But what if we take away Near from this equation? What if Kira, though unknowingly, destroyed the one thing that would defeat his reign?
1. Twisting Memories

**A/N:**

**Whoo! I'm actually uploading a chapter story for once! Enjoy!**

_Snow was the bright, happy, unpredictable thing everyone looked forward to at Wammy's House. Even Near ventured out in his soft white coat and cute snow-hat for the event. I watched as big, white flakes fluttered down and landed into his hair, blending in with the pale grey curls. He beamed up at the sky, marveling at the flurries. I helped Matt as he began building a snowman. His green eyes sparkled behind the orange goggles, and he laughed as a snowball hit the back of my blonde head. I whirled around to face Near's mischievous grin and smiling grey eyes. I grinned back and threw a snowball back at him, purposely missing his delicate frame._

_The snow fell in thick blankets, and we hadn't noticed in our amusement that we had ventured out beyond the brick fence that surrounded the orphanage. I always wonder if I could've changed what happened next. As we tossed snowballs at each other, we didn't notice the headlights shining through the heavy snow. These last moments will always haunt my memories. The speeding car crashed through the chain-link fence separating Wammy's House from the line of graceful shops behind the orphanage. Matt and I were faced towards the fence. Near was faced away. His innocent sterling grey eyes widened as he heard the crash of metal on concrete. I screamed and tried to jump in the path, tried to tackle Near and keep him safe._

_"Near!" My shriek alerted the small boy. He quickly maneuvered out of the way as the car came to a screeching halt outside the busy street. His eyes were wide, panicked. I sighed in relief. _

_Suddenly, a truck, fog lights off even in the thick snow, came barreling down the lane. It hit Near as he lay, panting and frightened, full on. My shout came to late. His wide grey eyes stared unseeingly into the sky. Pools of crimson stained the perfect snow. And through it all, the snow never stopped tumbling down, covering everything with its cold, unfeeling touch. I ran to his side, howling in anguish, tears streaming down my cheeks. _

_And somewhere, locked away in his Kanto, Japan home, Kira had just written down the name of the thief who, forty seconds later, crashed his car, clutching at his chest, as his partner tried to control the wheel, sending the metal box of a car down a seemingly deserted alley. Kira hadn't known that he had somehow, in my mind, been connected to Near's death._

I wake up sweating and trembling. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is scarlet staining flawless white, a reverie turned into a nightmare. As I close my eyes and lay back, I see the flawless white in his true form. Near, I think to myself, why'd you have to leave? Four years had flown by, four years soaked in bloodshed of criminals and civilians alike, all the work of Kira. He had taken two things that had meant the most to me. Near had been killed from his idle stroke of his pen. L had been taken from me by the same hand, only with a different tool.  
>Holding the file of Kira in my hand, I stand up and watch the world, so blind and clueless, wander around in their meaningless lives. No, they would never know that a person who had watched as something so close and dear to him had been killed before his eyes was going to murder the one they called their god. They wouldn't, but I would. I sit at the computer to work on the Kira case. But first, I open a notepad and begin to type words I couldn't verbalize out loud, for fear that they would slip away.<p>

_Dear Near,_  
><em>I miss you.<em>  
><em>-Mello<em>


	2. No Way Out

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! All two of them!**

**0roketto0kaigun0: Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed the first chapter! Trust me, there's gonna be a lot of twists. And I can't promise that Mello will always be the narrator, but he will be most of the time!**

**V: *le gasp* I totally didn't notice that! Thanks for pointing it out. I'll fix it soon.**

**Short chapter is short. -_-**

**Enjoy!**

I wake up screaming, again, as usual. Those nightmares of Near's broken, bleeding body keep me awake. Every time I close my eyes I see his pale form stained crimson. I pull on a black shirt over my messy blonde hair and grab my keys. My motorcycle hums to life as I push the helmet on my head. I don't know where I'll go. I just need to forget these memories before they consume me entirely.

_"Mello, Matt," Roger begins, his old face looking ancient in… Grief? Sorrow? Fear?_

_ "You called us?" Matt states calmly, never looking up from his game. Roger frowns, looking down at his papers. I shift uneasily, wishing I could just say something to break the tension. Finally, Roger speaks._

_ "L is dead," he utters soft, coolly, though I can still see the anguish reflected in his aged eyes. Matt looks up in shock, his game emitting the loud "Game Over!" announcement, but for once, he ignores it. _

_ I look down, feeling stoic, and then feeling guilty for being so emotionless. "I assume Matt and I will work together?" I say bitterly. Matt grabs my hand under the table, tears forming in the corners of his sea-green eyes. I sigh._

_ "Yes, of course," Roger whispers. "You're dismissed." We leave to let Roger wallow in his grief. As soon as we're in our own room, Matt throws me roughly against a wall._

_ "Why, Mello?" He whispers, deadly calm, though his eyes are full of fire. "Why would you show no emotion to the death of you mentor?" I shrug helplessly. Maybe I would have cried if Near was here, I want to tell him. Maybe I would've thrown things and flipped desks over and freaked out. But losing him changed me. It showed how cruel and cold and absolutely heartless life was. It taught me to never be attached to anyone. _

_ "Because it's not worth getting worked up over," I say instead. Matt releases my arms, looking disgusted. He raises a hand to slap me, but stops. He stands up abruptly and slams the door behind him. I collapse on the floor and let all the tears I couldn't summon earlier fall for hurting the only person who would even talk to me anymore. _

No, no, no. I shake my head, realizing that in my painful reminiscing, I had arrived in front of what looks like a very welcoming place. The local bar is cool and quiet as I enter inside.

"What'll you have?" The pretty barista with straight black hair and sapphire eyes asks me as I slump onto a barstool. She doesn't ask questions. She's probably seen everything in her years at the bar.

"Strongest vodka you have," I respond immediately. She looks a bit taken aback, probably assuming I was a lightweight, but I ignore her, nodding in thanks and tossing a few dollar bills for payment when she brings the whole bottle and a glass.

I feel the warm burn flow down my throat, into my stomach as I swallow my first glass, and then my second, and then the third. My mind's fuzzy and everything's swirling. I can't tell what's reality and what's my imagination. I stumble to my bike, ready to head home.


End file.
